Mere Raises A Baby

Sorry in advance, future generations!

Quit your job, start a blog.

on March 10, 2013

Isn’t that what everyone is doing these days? In my case I already HAD a blog but I have neglected it for so long that it just seemed easier to start fresh with a new one instead of trying to reinvent or resurrect what was already there. It’s still available online for your reading pleasure, should you ever feel the need to read a few years’ worth of complete nonsense and whining. Not to say that there won’t be an abundance of nonsense and whining here, I’m just saying if you want to read the crap I’ve already written then by all means, check out my old stuff.

Oh, right, so new blog, sorry: Here’s my new blog. It’s shiny, and smells good, and it’s about my weird, wonderful new life as an at-home mom to my son, Baby A.

I never expected to be the “at-home” mom type. My mom stayed home with me and my sister until we were both in elementary school and that was fabulous, but I always expected that I would work. I’m not particularly career-driven, I worked in social work for the three years between graduating from college and the birth of my son, but I never saw myself being a life-long social worker. I just always thought I would work SOMEWHERE. That changed last year so suddenly that I don’t even remember it happening. Baby A was born in July and I was due back at work in October. We had picked out an incredible daycare (the only daycare in the county that met my standards LOL) and I had added the baby to my health insurance through my job. By the first of September I had made up my mind, even if I hadn’t told anyone: I wasn’t going back.

I was almost a little bit embarrassed to tell D (my husband, in case you’re here by accident) that I wanted to stay home after being so sure that I would be back at work, changing my mind seemed silly. D was wonderful though. He just told me that he understood and we would make it work. Telling my boss was a whole other thing. I cried. On the phone. Like a bitch baby. You guys, I can’t even tell you, my old boss was one of the sweetest and most patient people I’ve ever known. I felt guilty, like I was letting him down, when I told him that I wasn’t coming back. As I should have guessed, his response was beautiful: “That’s great that you are going to stay home with your baby! You technically have maternity leave until October, let’s just wait until then and we’ll talk again.” Seriously. Nobody guilt-tripped me, nobody ridiculed me, they just supported me.

It still felt weird. I’ve quit a lot of jobs in my day (some jobs more than once). My friends like to throw parties when I quit my jobs, just because I quit a lot of jobs and they like to have a lot of parties. But I’ve never quit a job with nothing else to go to. It’s always been that I quit because I had something else to do that wasn’t compatible with what I had been doing: returning to school, moving, starting another job someplace else, etc. This was different. It was also a bit of a leap of faith, like that first second that an airplane takes off and suddenly you’re off the ground in midair with nothing to support you but a little bit of physics and some atmosphere and maybe some prayers (I take Xanax to fly, can you tell?) but somehow it works. A little bumpy, maybe, but steady enough.

So here we are. 8 months (ish) later and going strong. Many, many setbacks and learning curves along the way but making it work nonetheless. Raising a baby. An awesome, adorable, strong little baby. So this is our story.

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