Mere Raises A Baby

Sorry in advance, future generations!

Snob.

One of the things that differs greatly in practice versus theory in our home is the amount of screen time Baby A gets. Before I was a mom, I swore up and down that I wasn’t going to let the TV raise my kids. Parents that let their kid watch TV were lazy, I decided, and their kids just turned in to mindless lumps chilling on the couch while their TV-sheltered counterparts explored, ran around, and were generally free and genius tiny human beings outside.

WELL GUYS. I failed pretty hard at that. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that the TV is totally raising him, but on any given day I should probably pay it for at least a few minutes of babysitting. Really, though, it’s worth it if I just get five minutes to pee in peace. ANYWAY, I didn’t come here to wallow in misery and self-judgment. Nope, I came to marvel at the tiny little snob that has been created in my home. D and I are both snobby about weird things in our lives. He is a snob about batteries. The man swears by brand-name batteries and won’t buy anything else and gets fussy if I bring home an HEB brand battery because HOW DARE YOU bring an inferior power source into our home?! Dork.

I’m snobby about plenty, but the one that probably annoys D the most is that I refuse to see a movie anywhere but an Alamo Drafthouse. It’s not stupid, it makes perfect sense: I can’t deal with people talking in movies. You don’t talk at the Alamo or Ann Richards will take your ass out. Also, beer and pizza. I won’t go see a movie anywhere else, don’t even ask, I don’t care if it is only playing at the Alamo at 10:00 AM, that’s the one we’re going to, Alamo or GTFO.

We are slowly noticing little quirks show up in Baby A’s behavior that mirrors one or both of us. He’s incredibly messy (me). He won’t eat a single vegetable (D). He thinks chasing the dog is hilarious (Me). Ok, so it’s totally possible that all of these things are typical of everyone at his age and D and I are both giant toddlers. Whatever. Point is, kid’s a TV snob. Like, to the point of getting completely pissed off if something is on that he doesn’t approve of. What does he approve of? This week it’s Veggie Tales and Sid the Science Kid. If literally ANYTHING else is on, it’s completely unacceptable. He will find the remote, shove it into my hand, and say “No no no no no!” Which is totally his favorite sentence these days. (Awesome!) Or if he has access to the TV he will go turn it off himself. Yep, it’s not that he constantly wants to watch these two shows, because he’s completely fine with the TV being off. But if it is on, it (apparently) has to be on either Veggie Tales or Sid. He’s just being a snob. An adorable little snob.

PS: If you didn’t click on the Ann Richards link you should totally click on the Ann Richards link. You’re welcome. 

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